A visit
In the past few weeks I've been visited by ex-boyfriends in my dreams.
The first few were from the ex-jackass and I could care less if I dream about him.
But last night, it was Big Ed....and Big Ed was a good guy so it was a nice visit, but it left me feeling guilty and a bit sad. Big Ed was a senior in high school when I was a sophomore at GC. No matter how much we cared for each other, that little bit of age difference just wasn't going to let it work.
So, Big Ed, wherever you are today, know that I'm sorry. I was young and dumb and selfish. I didn't handle your heart very well and it was probably because mine was still a little broken.
You were a great guy and I think we may have even loved each other....it's just that we loved each other at the wrong time.
The first few were from the ex-jackass and I could care less if I dream about him.
But last night, it was Big Ed....and Big Ed was a good guy so it was a nice visit, but it left me feeling guilty and a bit sad. Big Ed was a senior in high school when I was a sophomore at GC. No matter how much we cared for each other, that little bit of age difference just wasn't going to let it work.
So, Big Ed, wherever you are today, know that I'm sorry. I was young and dumb and selfish. I didn't handle your heart very well and it was probably because mine was still a little broken.
You were a great guy and I think we may have even loved each other....it's just that we loved each other at the wrong time.
posted by JAB @ 10:06 AM
3 Comments:
At 11:02 AM,
NB-C said…
That's really odd...I wonder what it means?
At 1:45 PM,
JAB said…
It started right after Nat's post about her divorce. I think it dug deep into my mind about how the ex-jackass treated me and how lucky I was not to have married him and gone through the heartbreak she did.
Maybe a little catharisis (sp?) for my mind???
At 3:22 PM,
Anonymous said…
that is so sad, kinda beautiful though in a nostalgic kinda way.
i have someone in my past that i wish i could talk to .... maybe I'll look her up sometime, i'm almost positive she still lives in louisville
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