The great manipulator
I would blog about turning over the BIG 3-3, but I need to talk about the manipulator in my life.
I've known it for a long time, but I didn't realize until I got pregnant again just how much of her wishes she would like to exert on my life.
She barely said congratulations. She has made it clear she thinks Beak needs to go to a day shift and that I need to quit school. I guess if we don't do those things, she isn't going to be happy about this pregnancy.
She doesn't ask how I'm feeling, she doesn't ask when I'm going to the doctor, she hasn't bought anything for the baby. I was only 6 weeks pregnant with E and she was buying things already. She called every day and wanted to know how I was. She wanted me to check in after every doctor appointment.
She's already dropping hints about me having my tubes tied. She says things like "they have 3 kids? Do you know how much money it takes just to feed and clothe kids today?" I haven't mentioned to her that I've decided in fact not to have my tubes tied. Clearly that would go over like a lead balloon.
The word hurt doesn't cover this one. Heartbroken? Sad? Crushed? And it only gets worse with time.
I've known it for a long time, but I didn't realize until I got pregnant again just how much of her wishes she would like to exert on my life.
She barely said congratulations. She has made it clear she thinks Beak needs to go to a day shift and that I need to quit school. I guess if we don't do those things, she isn't going to be happy about this pregnancy.
She doesn't ask how I'm feeling, she doesn't ask when I'm going to the doctor, she hasn't bought anything for the baby. I was only 6 weeks pregnant with E and she was buying things already. She called every day and wanted to know how I was. She wanted me to check in after every doctor appointment.
She's already dropping hints about me having my tubes tied. She says things like "they have 3 kids? Do you know how much money it takes just to feed and clothe kids today?" I haven't mentioned to her that I've decided in fact not to have my tubes tied. Clearly that would go over like a lead balloon.
The word hurt doesn't cover this one. Heartbroken? Sad? Crushed? And it only gets worse with time.
posted by JAB @ 6:53 AM
2 Comments:
At 12:49 PM,
NB-C said…
Happy 33rd! I'm glad to have company.
I'm so sorry to hear about this. I know it's hard and that you want to please her, but you are an adult. It's your life and Beak's. She's lived hers.
You may not do what she wants all the time and she may not do things the way you do them, but it's really none of her business.
I know it's hard to continually feel judged, but you pay your own bills...it's not really up to her anymore.
Hang in there.
At 9:15 AM,
SEDW said…
You are making a different choice that she did, and maybe that brings up insecurity in herself? That's my psychoanalysis of the day.
Happy Thanksgiving. Happy B-Day, a few days late. your 21st is a great memory of mine!
Post a Comment
<< Home